#!/usr/bin/env bash

# get the file from here: https://gist.githubusercontent.com/chuckwagoncomputing/ff980f81482b5894c824/raw/c54c87a325454a5ae91b6254fa4c30121e0891f5/excuses.txt

excuses_file="/usr/share/doc/bofh/excuses"
num_lines=$(nl $excuses_file | tail -n 1 | awk '{print $1}')
awk 'NR=='$((1 + RANDOM % num_lines ))'{print;exit}' $excuses_file